Insecurities Attract
by 13-Red-Cards
Summary: She had vowed never again to edit a novel, but he looked so tragic that it was hard to say no. Ritsu/Mitsuru


**I need to quit starting stories. It's really a bad habit. But this one has been sitting in my brain for years, and I figured I might as well start writing it down. I adore Ritsu and Mitsuru, and I've always thought their romance was underrepresented on this site. Thus, this story. **

**Disclaimer: I own nothing. **

**Chapter 1:**

_There she is. It's now or never. I have to ask her. I can't ask her. I'm not worthy. I'm going home. No, I'm not going home! I'm going to ask her. I can do this. No, I can't. Yes, I can? Maybe?_

Ritsu crouched in the shadow of a tree, his eyes fixed on the petite, short-haired woman exiting the office building. She was walking down the steps to the office. She was on the sidewalk. She was directly in front of him. If he didn't act now, it would be too late. He nervously adjusted the bow in his hair, trying to muster some courage. True, his confidence had increased since the Sohma curse had been broken, but he was still far (so, so far) from being a self-assured man.

Taking a breath so deep it might have injured his lungs, he stood.

Mitsuru glanced briefly at the beautiful woman (or was it a man?) as she (he?) stepped out of the shadows of the tree. She looked like she had something to say, so Mitsuru paused and gave her a questioning look. "Can I help you?" she asked politely.

"I'm sorry; I'm sorry; I'm so sorry!" the timid woman suddenly burst out. But no, she wasn't a woman. That was a man's voice.

In fact, that was a familiar man's voice. A look of horror spread across Mitsuru's face as she realized this fact. Taking a step back, she held her briefcase before her as a shield. "Shigure sent you, didn't he?" she hissed, giving Ritsu her most threatening glare and hoping it would intimidate him into submission.

She needn't have tried so hard. He had already been cowering. Now he was practically on the ground. "Forgive me," he murmured, barely capable of speech.

"I'll never work for him again," she declared, standing up to her full height, which was not particularly impressive, and continuing to impale the unfortunate Sohma with her wrathful gaze. "I am a free woman, and I refuse to be tormented any longer!"

"I don't mean to t-torment you!" Ritsu protested, hiding his head under his arms. "Shigure-san has nothing to do with this; I swear!"

That one sentence changed everything. Mitsuru's face immediately brightened, and she smiled down upon the man. "Well, if that's the case, then I'm happy to see you," she said. "I don't think I've ever seen you outside the wicked Demon King's home. How are you, Ritsu-san? It's been quite a while."

"I'm very w-well, thank you. How are you?" Ritsu replied, gradually rising from the ground as his courage level increased.

"Life's not bad," Mitsuru replied with a shrug. "Everything seems brighter now that the monstrous Shigure Sohma is out of my life."

"I'm sincerely sorry for the pain he caused you," Ritsu said. He fixed his beautiful eyes upon her and spoke in the most sincere tone she had ever heard. It was a bit unnerving.

"Oh. Um, thank you, but you don't need to apologize," Mitsuru awkwardly mumbled. "Is there anything you need? You looked like you wanted to speak to me."

"Yes, I do. I think?" Ritsu nervously said. He looked like he wanted the earth to swallow him up. Nevertheless, he plunged forward, speaking so rapidly that Mitsuru almost didn't understand him. "I want to write a novel and I was wondering if maybe perhaps potentially you could possibly edit it please?"

The two words that stuck in Mitsuru's brain were "novel" and "edit." Her friendly gaze suddenly turned frosty. "I have forsworn such editing," she said.

"You have?" Ritsu asked. He couldn't keep the disappointment from spreading across his face. Had he mustered his courage for nothing?

"Yes. I edit textbooks now. I will never again edit a novel. Have a good day, Ritsu-san." With those words, she continued walking down the sidewalk.

Ritsu was left stunned in her wake. He had remembered Mitsuru as a kind and sensitive woman. It was tragic to think that she had been so scarred by her experiences as Shigure's editor that the barest mention of novel editing now turned her into a cold-hearted creature. It was horrible. Absolutely horrible.

Suddenly, Ritsu realized that it was probably his fault. He should have stopped Shigure's cruelty. He should have been the better man. But how could he have been the better man? He was, at core, a worthless man. If he had been a good person, he never would have troubled Mitsuru with his silly request. He would have been more sensitive to her traumatic past. Why was he so despicable?

He raised his eyes to look at Mitsuru's receding back, only to realize that she had stopped and was looking over her shoulder at him. She wore a puzzled yet compassionate expression. "It wasn't a troublesome request, Ritsu-san," she gently said.

"But you were so upset," he protested.

"I overreacted," she replied. "I should know better. I'm very sorry."

"No, no, you shouldn't apologize! I'm the one who was presumptuous enough to ask for your help. It was horrible of me. I deserve the harshest punishment ever given."

"No, you don't!" Mitsuru interrupted, horrified at his unnecessary self-hatred. She racked her brains for something to say that would pull him from his despair. "Um…what is your book about?"

It took Ritsu quite a while to express himself coherently. "Well, uh, it's a story – a very important story, I think – about, um, a family, and this family has a few problems – you see, the zodiac, there's a curse. On the family. The book is about a cursed family."

"I see." Mitsuru wasn't particularly impressed, but she had certainly heard worse ideas. Some of the worst ideas ever had come from Ritsu's demonic relative. "And you…you think the story is important?"

"Uh, yes."

"Why?"

Ritsu hadn't expected this question. It was a rather difficult one. "Uh…it's all drawn from real life…"

"As it should be!" Mitsuru exclaimed, gleefully clapping her hands together. "I have faith in you; I'm sure you write well, and it seems like you're very dedicated, which is always an important quality, but…" She lowered her gaze to the ground. "I can't help you."

"I understand," Ritsu quietly said. "Thank you for listening."

For a few seconds, Ritsu and Mitsuru looked at one another in silence. Ritsu looked close to tears, and he seemed to be biting back a frantic apology. Mitsuru could feel her tender heart breaking. He needed to stop looking at her with his stunning eyes. The beauty was too overwhelming. It made her wish she could help him. After all, he had once tried to comfort her after one of her unsuccessful attempts to make Shigure give her his manuscript. If only he wasn't writing a novel. Why couldn't he be writing a textbook?

The longer they looked at one another, the more her compassion grew. It grew and grew and grew until, before she could stop herself, she found herself asking, "Have you written anything yet? Do you have it with you?"

Ritsu hastily dug through the bag he wore over his shoulder. He pulled out a stack of papers and handed them to Mitsuru with an expression of doom. "I don't think it's very good," he said.

"I'll be the judge of that," Mitsuru replied, taking the papers and stuffing them into her briefcase. "I'll read over what you've written and tell you what I think. But I can't promise to edit everything you write. The memories may be…too painful."

"That's fine! I understand. I completely understand. Thank you so much for doing this. I'm a terrible person and I don't deserve this at all but you're so kind and I'll never forget your kindness. Thank you."

She blushed, embarrassed by his outpouring of gratitude. "Um, please, you don't need to thank me. It's fine. I have to go now, but, uh, just write your phone number on this card. I'll call you when I've finished reading these papers, then we can meet up and discuss them. Is that…okay?"

"It's more than okay," Ritsu said as he quickly scribbled down his contact information. Once again, the sincerity in his eyes was overwhelming. Once she had his number, Mitsuru hastily bid him farewell and left, wondering what sort of story she would find in the papers he had given her.

Ritsu watched her leave, a contented smile on his face. She was the nicest woman he'd ever met. Shigure shouldn't have mistreated her.

**What do you think? Any comments or suggestions? **


End file.
